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Good News – Progressives Once More Assure Us Islam is our Friend

My home state is allegedly about to get blasted with its first winter storm, but I don’t plan on letting it slow me down one bit.

See, inspired by today’s progressives, I believe I will be able to carve a path through the snow and live a life unfettered by the reality that may choke other people. Weather’s nasty judgmental streak will crash into my Mizzou-inspired safe space, and not a finger will be lifted in the service of that taunting shovel in my garage.

I will not be triggered into accepting the blizzard’s cold, hard truth. For I am Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer and I can fly.

Oh, what a marvelous world of possibility and freedom has opened up for me since I first heard those marvelous words of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama last week. Words that shot through the terror and death that clouded the streets of Paris with their wonderful existential alchemy.

Whereas it felt like there was no place to hide, the blizzard of fear in my mind was no more. I was handed pure wisdom and truth. I was handed a gift of magic like some kind of fortune cookie for the soul. And it read:

“Islamic State has nothing to do with Islam.”

Don’t just take my word for it, though. Let heaven and nature sing, Killary!

“The bottom line is that we are in a contest of ideas against an ideology of hate, and we have to win,” she said while campaigning to become granter of wishes. “Let’s be clear, though, Islam is not our adversary. Muslims are peaceful and tolerant people, and have nothing whatsoever to do with terrorism. The obsession in some quarters with a clash of civilization, or repeating the specific words radical Islamic terrorism isn’t just a distraction, it gives these criminals, these murderers more standing than they deserve. It actually plays into their hands by alienating partners we need by our side.”

Yes, pay no mind to those blood-curdling shouts of ‘Allahu Akbar’ that escorted all those bullets into the flesh of the 130 dead infidels…err…I mean “crime victims.” Instead, sit back and watch while all those “moderate Muslim nations” come to our side now because of the future first female president’s awesome sauce…err…I mean “diplomacy.”

Well, it worked in Benghazi, didn’t it?

 if the watchman sees the sword coming and does not blow the trumpet, and the people are not warned, and the sword comes and takes any person from among them, he is taken away in his iniquity; but his blood I will require at the watchman’s hand.


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