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Rebuttal to an Angry Feminist from a Husband and Father of Daughters

By Stephen Crawford

I saw a Tweet the other day that I think perfectly encapsulates the disdain in which modern feminism holds men.

I won’t embarrass the Tweeter with an actual link, so here it is:

Dear dudes: Please remove the phrase “as a husband / father of daughters” from your vocab. Women exist outside your bubble. #imtiredofbeingsoangry #always

I answered, “No!” But I’m afraid that was a bit insensitive of me. I mean, look at the anger this poor woman engenders. I should have been more compassionate. Imagine what it must be like going through life nursing perceived microaggressions like this.

Let me say, as a husband and father of both sons and daughters, her suggestion strikes me as a terrible idea. There are two paths for men in life – 1) not having a family or 2) having a family. Of these two, which do you think usually results in greater personal happiness and social stability?

It’s the one that involves families – I think that’s clear.

I’ve often joked that without women, men would live like bears. Women have a civilizing effect on men, no question. Most men love women. We’re designed that way. Yes, sex is a factor, especially with the young – we’re designed that way too. But any man who doesn’t ultimately look past the physical is not really a man at all. That is, he hasn’t matured.

Society used to widely encourage maturity through hard work and marriage. Marriage promotes responsibility and fidelity, the permanent bonds between a man and a woman upon which stable families are usually built. As a rule, men and women mature more quickly when they have someone to take care of.

But somewhere along the line – since the 1960s if I’m not mistaken – maturity, as a goal in life, became greatly forsaken. I’m not referring to the cheap maturity of wokeness peddled by the pseudo-intellectual inbreds at universities these days; where the latest hot-take on race, sex or class is passed around like Ecstasy at a rock concert.

Wokeness is no substitute for maturity. It short-circuits the iterative process of learning through study and experience about life, about human nature, about costs and benefits, about problem solving, about critical thinking, about the importance of being reliable and responsible. It conveniently lays out all the “right” thinking for its subjects, so people don’t have to think for themselves. They only need to pick it up, parrot the party line, and their ticket gets punched.

At some point though, these kids need to grow up. Their anger and self-righteous indignation is starting to become dangerous. People are getting hurt, and humoring the madness is not helping.

In the West, the ideal relationship between a man and a woman has always been a partnership of complementary equals. This is Biblical. This is unequivocal. This is one of the founding pillars of our civilization. We understand this is right to the depths of our God-given souls.

As a husband and father of daughters, I find the epithets of rape culture, and toxic masculinity to be one of the great slanders of our time. Maybe Hollywood and the universities have become such cesspools that they truly are rape cultures; but if they are, it isn’t America which made them that way, but their own disavowal of America’s Judeo-Christian values upon which our moral culture is based.

Historically, the demands of life have dictated that men and women have different roles, but that doesn’t mean women were oppressed. Things just worked better that way.

These days, the relative ease of modern living has made it much easier for women to work outside the home, voluntarily or not, and so many more do. At first, in the 1960s, women’s income was usually secondary in the family. Everyone knew it, so they earned less. And for a good while, two-income families raked in the bucks. Eventually, as single women and female head of household became the norm, the market adjusted, and the pay disparity virtually disappeared.

Now, rather than celebrate this freedom, feminism nurtures anger against the very culture that enables it. Feminism #resists oppression; but ironically, does so by teaching women to act like with a selfishness akin to the men they criticize:

Women, don’t be nurturing and loving. Loving relationships are passé. Get what you can when you can, and don’t let anyone oppress you otherwise. Men are only out for what they want and don’t care about you, so don’t care about them. Women, have as much sex as you like – it’s inconsequential; and if you get pregnant, blame the oppressive male and we’ll abort that thing out of you.

It’s sad that feminism is turning women against femininity. If you’re looking for a War on Women, this is it.

Is making a sandwich for your husband really a sign that you are oppressed as a woman? Is providing a home for your wife a sign that you are oppressed as a man? I don’t think so. It’s time to climb down from the stereotypes and look each other in the eyes.

Granted, some men are insensitive and abusive (as are some women); that’s life. But to stereotype all men is as slanderous as calling all women irrational or incapable. It’s a straw man; or straw woman, as it were.

I have never ever met one person who said they thought a woman shouldn’t be able to do whatever she sets her mind to just like anyone else. Have you? There must be some, but like actual racists and fascists, they are few and far between.

Personal relationships are not about tit for tat – they are about working together with common interests toward common goals, appreciating and loving one another for who and what they are. That’s the way, it seems to me, that most people prefer to live; not to fight with each other over their intersectional differences.

As a husband and father of daughters, I will tell you; dear ones, don’t make mountains out of molehills. That is one life lesson you won’t find in a Marxist textbook.


Stephen Crawford is @servative on Twitter

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